You may have heard of me. I am one of the greatest surfers of all time and after watching youtube videos of surf since I quit many years ago, I have decided to come back and teach the disgusting surf community how things are done. Do not expect to see me online servers often, as I will be playing mostly on LAN and a private server I own, but if you do see me I expect respect. I fully expect some salty fuckers to be upset I am coming to beat their times, but too bad, as they have no say in the matter. For those of you who know who I am and respect my position as one of the top surfers many years ago, and are excited to see me make a return, I will be accepting friend requests from anyone who can prove to me they are worth my time. As for anyone who has argued fruitlessly with me in the past about records on youtube videos, those records are about to be broken over the course of the next few months. Expect to see my name on that gross UI sidebar, and expect many people to be upset that they can't touch me.